Hi guys, Vicente Karl here! I have actually written this post in response to a question posed by reader John Baker (email@example.com) who asked: “Vicente, I am two months into a relationship and I’m starting to feel all tied up. I usually give in to what she wants to avoid a tiresome argument, but she seems to take advantage of that to get whatever she wants. Is there a way to assert myself sometimes without getting into a fight?”
Well, John it looks like you are very submissive, but there are ways to turn your relationship into a fine give and take one without necessarily stirring up the hornet’s nest. Read on for some insights and tips.
There are three kinds of males around: the Alpha, the most Alpha (while he still knows how to compromise), and then of course, there’s the Submissive kind. The latter are the ones who get married and usually let their wives wear the pants in the relationship. They are the ones who get too easily pressured into doing something, the ones who say that they do what they do (aka what they are told to do) because they don’t want any fights. But more often than not, they are just scared of losing the argument so they just don’t bother. Look here for some basic dating advice for men.
While this may work in marriage (to the advantage of wives, obviously), being this submissive ‘Yes, honey’ kind of guy may be a little challenging when you’re trying to pick women up. After all, most women are really after assertive, confident men who know what they want; that, and the fact that you could fall prey to friendzoning women – those who know how to manipulate the weak ones.
Are you a self-confessed submissive man? Here are some dating tips that will not only help you get through the difficult aspects of dating, but will also help you get through it with a woman in tow.
“Give and give” is just as bad as “take and take” – learn how to compromise. The thing about most people is that they mistake compromise for giving in to the wishes of the other person. The truth of the matter is, compromise is meeting each other halfway. If you can’t be persuasive enough to get what you want, you can work towards getting what is good for the both of you.
You have to express how you feel about things honestly – even if you have to do it softly. There are times when you just have to do it. You just have to be honest about what you want and what you don’t want – you don’t always have to agree on everything to make a good couple. So be honest, she’ll appreciate you for it!
Before giving in to her every wish, ask yourself why you would want to do that. Is it to make her happy? Is it to avoid conflicts? How do you honestly feel about giving in to what she’s asking for? Are you doing it because you want to or because you’re pressured to do so? If you really want the same things, then that’s fine; but if you don’t, then you need to alternate giving concessions to the other. Otherwise you become a slave and she the master – there’s a good reason why slavery was abolished!
Take the driver’s seat now and then. Your being too submissive might cause her to be demanding (well, you’re encouraging it after all). So maybe the first step towards being a bit more assertive is being decisive. Don’t let her make all the decisions, but make it a point to discuss major decisions with her first. The lines ‘whatever you want’ or ‘whatever you think is better’ only makes sense in the first few dates; after that, they become invitations for her to boss you around. It isn’t always the sweetest way to go so you’ve got to learn how to take the driver’s seat too!
Being submissive isn’t all that bad, take that from a woman’s perspective, but do know how to use it well otherwise you’ll end up being pushed and pulled around against your will.
There are situations when hypnotism is all that’s needed to get you to be just a bit more assertive. Do you need professional hypnotist services? Contact me by going to: http://subliminalpersuasionbook.com/vicentes-hypnosis-practice
See previous blog post here. Good luck!